did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize