I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
