So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
