Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
