and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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