Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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