i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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