The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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