she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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