Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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