is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
