the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
