yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
