Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
