Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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