apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
