my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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