So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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