Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I want to fling myself into the sun
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
