y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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