Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
