oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
