physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
