Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
