I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
