how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
