And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He better not be in your backpack
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
