so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I yelled at your uterus for you.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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