another moral hangover. fuck.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
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