i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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