I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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