Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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