There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
