everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
