there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
