Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
