he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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