Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
