You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
