i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
