Kiss
Puke
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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