Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
