well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
