I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
