He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm bleeding and have questions
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
