i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
