My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
