Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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