Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
