You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
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Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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