I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize