She is in my trunk
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Actions speak louder than pants.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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