Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
