I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
