We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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