He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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