Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize