In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life