it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.