my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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